I save my job spam for you!
November 13, 2010 § Leave a comment
I’ve been saving up my job spam just for you guys! Yay! You’re welcome!
While plugging away at the worst time of year to be looking for a new position, I almost find it, um, <comforting? reliable? dependable?> to know that at any point in a day, I can look at my email account and find, um, <excellent? insane? scary?> job “offers” from scammers. Yet weekly I see another news link detailing the financial loss-embarrassment-humiliation of honest job seekers who are desperate, and who unwittingly fall into the clutches of these fiends (yes, fiends – if this were 1810, they would be selling you snake oil from the back of a wagon, “for your health.”)
So without further ado – here are my top three job spam emails of the week! (ideas for researching at the end) – enjoy!
Such promise!
Hello,
After viewing your resume on <insert major job board here>, we have decided to contact you regarding an offer. We have an exciting opportunity with our company in your area with no need of relocation.
Requirements:
- Must have Microsoft Office Intermediate experience, checking emails 3 times/day
- US citizen or permanent residence/green card holder
- Experience: N/A
- Required Travel: NO
- Relocation: NO
Benefits:
- Attractive bonuses and commissions with each order
- No contact with our clients
- No Sales
- No Fees
- You can start tomorrow
Salary + Commissions:
- Compensation: $85,000 – $95,000 per year
- Employee Type: Full-Time/Part-Time Employee
- Fix salary after first month
- 401(k) plan
Hiring Department
Yes, that was all there was. Imagine! 85-95K for checking email 3 times a day! No experience necessary! No travel! No relo! (No reply method, either – scam much, or just getting started in the industry?)
So sad, and so scam…
From Mr. Williams Nana,
Attention: Dear Friend
This message might meet you in utmost surprise. However, it’s just my urgent need for foreign partner that made me to contact you for this transaction. I got your contact from internet search while I was searching for a foreign partner. I am Williams Nana. A banker by profession in Burkina-Faso, West Africa and currently holding the post of secretary to foreign remittance director in our bank. I need your urgent assistance in transferring the left over funds of ($7.6Million Dollars) belong to our late customer who died along with his entire family during the Iraq crisis on October 2006.
The deceased customer used his wife as the next of kin but unfortunately the wife died along side with him leaving nobody for the claim. According to our banking policy if the fund remains unclaimed for the period of 5years then the fund will be transfer into the reserve bank as unclaimed bill. I don’t want the fund to go into the bank treasury and as such, let’s claim the fund now. You can see the news on BBC and CNN regarding their death.
<Two legit links to major internet news sites here – I took them out for your convenience – what a creative bunch!>
Hence; I am inviting you for a business deal where this money can be shared between us in the ratio of 60% for me and 40% for you if you agree to handle this business with me. Further details of the transfer will be forwarded to you as soon as I receive your return mail immediately as soon as you receive this letter. Trusting to hear from you immediately.
Thanks & Best Regards,
Mr. Williams Nana
Dear Mr. Nana,
I honestly can’t print what I’m thinking right now. Please go scam your neighbors in Burkina-Faso or something. I’m trying to find a job, not an outlet for stupid.
No thanks and no regards…
…try, try again!
JOB OFFER
Our establishment is deslighted to propose you the position of Secret Shopper in Corporex LLC after finding on your autobiography at CareerBuilder online. Our personnel department did its best to examine your CV and remained to be pleased. We hope that your skills will be among our most valuable assets.
Necessary Criteria for being employed:
- Age: older than 27
- Internet access
- 3-5 hours of free time every day for performing your professional assignments
- Certificate of good conduct
Job Benefits:
As it goes, Secret Shopper is an superb way for employees to earn profit in the process of providing feedback, making comments, making of, commenting out to company. This is a real challenge for you to get to the top of the career rejoicing at things you like above all. For instance, one may enjoy meal in restaurant or purchase things in supermarkets reveling in life and helping company at the same time.
Remuneration:
Your every month earned income may come to $1,500-2,000.
Time Limitation of the Position:
On account of the great amount of applicants for this office, this job is time-bound. So, it is strongly recommended for you to provide us the necessary information about yourself ASAP.
To become the contributor of our establishment:
- Please go to our site: Corporex LLC <unlinked for your personal safety>
- Register yoursel
- Download, read take a close look at thoroughly a agreement and sign it in a mandatory way.
- Tell us the closest Walmart shop to you. Specify the exact address. Five shop are max. In Accepting this application, you confirm that your job will be on at-will basis and resign any complaints against Corporex LLC and its personnel.
About Corporex LLC:
Our corporation is engaged in collaboration with other corporations to perfect quality on an international scale by applying anonymous resources. We cooperate alongside with over 300 entities world-wide. Our main work includes marketing and cooperation with merchandising firms, private investigation companies, training organizations and other entities that are drawn in Mystery Consumerism services. Our member entities deal with their consumers in order to ascertain the process of improving level of attendance.
Regards Sincerely
Dear Regards Sincerely,
First, may I compliment you on your unique name? Is your nickname Ree-Ree? What was your mama thinking?
Now, on to the matter at hand… how many fake websites do you people have anyway?
Yours Truly (you can just call me YT)
PS – another question, please Is your group also responsible for the $20K in free WalMart Gift Card Offers I’ve received so far this week? Sheez, such generousity! If you keep this up, in a month or so, I’ll own the entire chain!
Read, research, and beware
- Read the email. Look for words like “exciting,” “time-bound,” and if it sounds too good to be true, ref: what your mama told you.
- Copy keywords from the email. Paste into Google Search. Do the research for about 3 pages. You’ll get the clue.
- If it sounds fishy, don’t click any links in the email. You could possibly download something nasty, like phishing software, to your computer. Beware!
Seriously,
Hey – need some job search inspiration?
November 8, 2010 § Leave a comment
I read like words are going out of style while I try my best to nail down (and seem to continually refine) my strategy to find “the next great position.” There’s a whole lot of stuff – good, bad, plus copied-from-other-blog information – but I’ve found some thought-provoking information here.
Try clicking through the links – even if you’re not over 40. I guarantee you’ll find something you can use in your search!
With a toast to the good blogs out there! <clink!>
Interview Tips – a good link
November 2, 2010 § Leave a comment
Practice, practice, practice.
This video is targeted to the AARP crowd, but contains good information about the basics for ANYONE looking for a job right now. Plus, it’s a cute format. Yes – there’s a miniscule ad at the beginning, but it doesn’t last long. Click to enjoy!
Best!
Dear Clueless Recruiter,
October 30, 2010 § Leave a comment
WOW! How perfect is this job for me? For a mere maximum 15 hours per week, I can earn 3K per month? Just for processing payments for your company in my region? How fabulous is this? May I please present my qualifications to you briefly, of course:
- 10 years ago, my husband went to use his debit card for a small purchase. It was declined. We had plenty of money in the bank, or so we thought. Turns out someone had “phished” our account. The bank, once made aware, kindly refunded all sums (but couldn’t do much about his embarrassment).
- 6 years ago, my husband got a call from the bank. “Mr. 2.0, did you or someone with authorization to use your credit card just try to take 5K from an ATM in Madrid?” Uh, no.
- 2 years ago, my husband got a call from the bank. “Mr. 2.0, did you just try to transfer $2,500.00 from your account via wire?”
Two times burned and a jovial sort, my husband asked the bank to keep him updated on their investigation. Turns out, some poor maple syrup farmer, down on his luck in Maine, had answered an online job ad to “process payments.”
As a condition of employment, he was to receive a check via mail from a “client” inside the US, place said check in his bank account, then wire 80% of the money to another account outside the US.
That particular money, by the way, was ours. And no, nobody asked us if that was okay.
So, dear recruiter, in summary – please take your valuable offer and drive it to a local police department. The closest one will be fine. Show the offer to the officer on duty, and please ask them to verify that you are:
- A real person, who goes by this name
- A real company who does business in an honest and above-board manner
- That you have a successful history of transacting this type of business from an office and not a jail cell
Once that is done, please have the officer verify same, in front of a legally-registered notary, and then email a scan of said document, plus the telephone number of the station you visited, and the name of the officer you worked with. Once I confirm verification, I might actually consider responding to your ad.
Yours truly,
PS – NOBODY representing a large international company recruits via a Gmail address.
Job search, from the recruiter side, with love
October 28, 2010 § Leave a comment
for the good ones, that is.
Little known secret:
I spent a bit of time as a recruiter. Bit. Remember that part.
I was a single parent, with some income (due to a flash of business brilliance), with two really liddle kiddles I wanted to hang with. So I thought to myself, “Self, go to a recruiter and find a part-time job, supplement your income, and only be away from the liddles part of the time.”
I went to a recruiter, and they hired me on-the-spot, part-time, to do their payroll. The opp paid nicely, the timing was perfect, so I said yes (duh).
There were also short tenures filling in as a recruiter during peak periods, so I know a teensy bit of the inside scoop. And I’ll share.
Most job recruiters, unless they are really, really lucky, work on a commission-only basis. What that means is if they don’t hustle, they don’t eat. And it takes a LOT of hustling to find talented, qualified candidates for a job vacancy, then a lot more hustling to make the network that will lead to a company paying the recruiter for finding this talent.
So recruiters hustle – a lot. And in this economy (there, I said it), they hustle even harder. Think of them as real estate agents for humanity. That make it clearer?
I am not down on recruiters. I have two who are very good friends. They are intelligent and honest, and they work very hard, with complete professionalism and a set of ethics like you wouldn’t believe.
I’m also utilizing recruiters while I search for a job. Almost all of them have been simply fabulous (you’ll probably hear about them on this blog eventually).
So please don’t think I am in any way down on recruiters, because I’m not. I’m simply and honestly reporting what I find “out there,” while I feverishly search for the right opportunity, in Atlanta, in (o god here it comes again) this economy.
With Blog Love for job recruiters (the good ones),